My doctor came back from his vacation and I saw him yesterday morning. He was a bit excited to find out that I was dilated about 4 cm. He started asking is nurse what time his last appt was for the day and then started talking to me about going to the hospital. I told him I wasn't planning on going to the hospital right then - why? Because I'm not in labor. "Oh, you could be" was his reply, "all I have to do is break your water!" No thank you. "I don't want you to break my water." He was taken aback. Now this is the man that I interviewed before I even became pregnant with Peter asking him what his idea of managing labor is, and he assured me for 9+ months that I could do as I liked in labor. Oh, he didn't think that was an intervention. OK - so I do. Well, then he went on and on about how I had not planned for the logistics of Hong Kong and that I was not going to make it to the hospital in time, yaddie, yaddie, yaddie. He was sure I would give birth within the next 12-24 hours. So, it is officially 32 hours later, and Peter is still warm and snug in my belly. But that is the story in a nutshell. Here is the long version.
Dr. Poddar continued to try and convince me that I needed to be aware that the traffic would most certainly make my birth story one to remember in the back of taxi. He let off the "breaking my water" scheme, but insisted I needed to plan better. So we came up with me staying in a hotel on the island side, in case he was right. That didn't happen by the way. He also said that I must come to the hospital as soon as contractions started. This is all after I explained that I had been having contractions on and off for weeks.
Now, I was sure that his assessment was not right, but I do respect the medical opinions of experienced doctors so I thought about it, prayed about it, and decided that maybe we should go to a hotel that was closer to the hospital for the night. But when I got home we all needed to eat lunch, then I had to pack, and time got later and later until it seemed useless. I was so tired that I went and laid down for a nap. I woke up to contractions. And I thought, well, maybe he's right. This was exciting. Matt was warming up some left overs and I ate, did some dishes and timed my contractions. 5 minutes apart. OK, well we would still need to get the girls some place so we went ahead started getting ready to leave. We called our friends here and asked if they could meet us at their subway stop and pick up the girls. We figured the subway would be a lot faster than dealing with rush hour traffic. We left and I continued having contractions all the while. We got on the subway - and noone gave me a seat (ha!ha!) We got off half way and handed over the girls then got back on, changed trains then hopped a taxi to the hospital. The contractions got closer together - maybe from the walking? Anyway, we got to the hospital and they admitted me just based on me being dilated 4 cms that morning. I was excited at the thought I might get to meet little Peter very soon. The midwife on duty called the doctor and checked me to find I was 5 cms (although I am not sure her 5 wouldn't be the same as Poddar's 4). She was certain though that I would have Peter before midnight. It was about 6:30 or so.
My doula arrived with a birth ball since I forgot mine! We all prayed and began listening to some hymns. I was really in the zone - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. The contractions slowed down, but they were still coming about every 10 minutes and that is what happened with Lola so I wasn't concerned. Everything was going very well until Poddar decided that I had run his clock out after 2 hours. He came in during a contraction, while I was having a moment of remembrance of my Dad, listening to How Great Thou Art (a song he sang to me all my life). Why did he come in? Because he wanted to break my water. And then he began his discourse. My doula was awesome, she told him that we already knew what kind of birth we wanted and it did not include him trying to speed things up by breaking my water. So then he starts threatening to leave and not be there when Peter arrives.... and blah, blah, blah. I could feel every muscle in my body tightening. My peace left and I finally excused myself to the bathroom. When I returned Anne ( my doula) was out in the hall talking to him. He talked her ear off for 15 minutes trying to convince her that he needed to break my water. That Peter would already be born if I did things his way.... So you get the picture. He would say out one side of his mouth that he was willing to let me labor as I wished, but then because it wasn't happening as fast as he thought it should he would get antsy and start using the common tactics many OBs use to try and strongarm you into letting them have their way. The thing that really erked me was that he kept asking what the plan was, when would I deliver, ???? As if I could know. I offered to allow him to check me to see if I had progressed. All this was before I went to the bathroom. Then Anne came back, said he might leave and he still wanted to break my water. He even tried to convince her that if he ruptured my membranes with his fingers it wasn't artificial rupture - really now? What planet does he think I'm from? So then he called Matt out into the hall. And gave him the once over. Matt stood strong! So then he called the hospital administrator for "advice". Basically he told Anne he had never seen a fully natural delivery. He didn't know what to do with me. I reminded him that I had not wanted to come to the hospital so quickly. That I had worried that if I did this would happen. He discounted all that because I "could" have gone quickly. Well, that is true also, but I wasn't going quickly and now he was harassing me. Finally the midwife came and checked me and said there was no change. She said I was very tight - oh and the first time the midwife commented how loose I was (this just means the pelvic area is ready.) So all the talk with Poddar did exactly what Ina May said it would do! It stalled labor. I never returned to the state I had been in when he entered the room that evening. I stayed up til 4am showering, squatting, sitting on the ball, walking, etc. At 4 I decided to go to bed, the contractions were here and there, there was still no progression, Peter still wasn't engaged, and things didn't look to change. I slept til 7:30.
Poddar went home last night sometime around 11:00. He called this morning about 7:30. Matt talked with him. He said call him when we needed him. Matt, Anne and I talked about our options. The new midwife came in, took my blood pressure and temp then hooked me up to a fetal monitor. Matt asked her what she thought. She said I was too comfy, I could talk through contractions and therefore she didn't consider me to be in active labor. We talked about me coming home. She called Poddar. I decided I wanted to go out for a walk. I felt so much weight on my shoulders. So my stress. I had spent the night in the hospital needlessly, I had used up the good graces of our friends who watched our children overnight, and I felt the expectation to have this baby. I got fully dressed, took the stairs to the ground floor, walked out the front door and down and up hills (the hospital is on the peak). So yes, I went hiking! I took the iPod and has some worship time and some prayer time. It felt good to be out, but knowing I had to go back was still weighing on me. That weight didn't leave until I was discharged.
So Poddar finally arrived to discharge me around 11am. He said all this stuff about risks, used the word distress a few times for good measure then checked the whites of my eyes and my pulse (too funny) and left the room. The midwife brought a paper for me to sign saying they were not liable if something happened. Duh. If I'm not in your hospital then how can I say you are liable? But I understood the deal so we signed out and went downstairs to settle the bill for the night. I cannot remember the total for the hospital services, but Poddar had the audacity to write that he was there for an emergency consultation (WHAT?) and he charged 10,000 HK$ for his great services. I am going to send him a bill for all the trouble he caused me. He asked if I had any questions, so I asked why OBs around the world still don't take baby position into consideration during slow or stalled labors? Peter is oblique which basically means his shoulder is presenting at the cervix instead of his head. Or maybe the side of his head? Anyway, he needs to move and get engaged so that pressure is put on the cervix and so that his head can mold and move through the birth canal. Basically, if I had let this man break my water I would probably be recovering from a c-section right now. Breaking my water would not help him move into position (actually he can move a lot easier with water around him) and after the water breaks there is fear of infection and OBs don't want to let you go more than 12-24 hours. Classic case - but this time I was armed. I have been studying labor for a long while now. I am a Doula myself and while I do not pretend to know everything, I do have an idea of how labor is managed in hospitals around the world. I must say though that Adventist hospital continues to impress me. The midwives were incredible and supporting. I don't know if they agreed with me or not, but they never stressed me out, so in my opinion they did their job well. They followed my birth plan. They were respectful and I appreciated each one I interacted with.
So, now I am home. Doing my exercises trying to get Peter to turn again (he turned last Friday and got lots of stuff going, then moved back to his favored position. So I know he can turn again. The Lord has appointed a time for him to be born. I wonder what on earth will happen when he does come. Will he come at our flat, in a taxi, on the MTR (gosh I hope not) or will I make it back to Adventist in the horrible HK traffic in time to let one of those lovely midwives help him into the world. I won't be calling Poddar on my way this time - that is for sure!
This was happy me on the way to the hospital the night of January 31st. I had just had a contraction and was very glad to have a seat on the subway!
