Peter snoozin in his sling!My friend Dora loves to say "Easy to say, hard to do" and she is usually right. This time, I am finding myself finding it hard to follow all the advice I often give others when it comes to breast feeding. Actually, I can write this today because I had someone give me all that advice just last night and I took it to heart and Peter fed all night and this morning beautifully... but back to before last night...
Peter didn't seem to be getting enough milk, mainly due to his poor latching so I pumped some... and gave it to him in a bottle - BAD!!! Don't do this unless completely necessary because everyone in the know on the breastfeeding train knows this can cause nipple confusion or least a desire not to work so hard to get milk from the breast... that silicone nipple is just so much easier. Anyway, I rolled the dice and didn't fare well. Between pure exhaustion, worry about my milk supply that was dwindling, and my very sore nipples I gave him expressed milk around the clock to try and pump and get my milk back and give my poor nipples a break - I was crying through feeding and Peter wasn't even getting a full feed because he wasn't latching well. After 2 days of bottle feeding he wouldn't latch at all... oh no! I tried to get him on at each feeding but we both became quickly frustrated and it ended in a bottle of expressed milk and me pumping. The only positive thing was that my milk supply went up from 2 ounces to almost 5 for each feeding! On Sunday afternoon my trusty Doula brought over a breast feeding counselor who showed me some things I didn't know and reminded me of all the things I do know, but may not have been doing. She was awesome. We got Peter latched on for the first time in about 4 days and he fed 10 minutes, but she was helping and he was full from an earlier feeding so the pressure was off. When the next feeding came around it was the same ole story... Peter frustrated, not latching on, and me becoming frustrated and giving up. Exhaustion makes you so mentally weak.
Anne came over again last night. Christie (the pro) was going to come as well but couldn't make it, so Anne just had a heart to heart with me and told me like it was! I love this girl because she is like my voice to myself... she says the right things in a way I can hear them. I can always step back and think... now this is what I would be telling someone else in my shoes and I always get so frustrated when they won't listen... so I decided I was going to listen. So I made some minor changes... no more trying to feed in the chair in the living room... I will stay in the bed alone with Peter, skin to skin and try my best to relax, and sleep as much as possible.
So after a crying fit last night, which i would have given up on normally (but I had Anne to keep me accountable last night) Peter finally latched on and drank his fill. He continued through the night - it was a regular schedule... poop, feed, sleep! Happy am I today that I listened to my Doula! Grace and Lola were easy in retrospect... they didn't have latching problems and I never worried about my milk supply. Peter has tested my resolve (sweetly though I may add - he is such a sweet pea!) I am grateful at this moment because it looks as though the fog is lifting and I come out on the other end with some new knowledge that I hope will help others I encounter along the way. Once again I am humbled, but once again I am blessed.
Thank you Lord for the milk you have supplied in my body for this precious baby boy and thank you for the dear sisters you have brought into my life for this time who have walked beside me and held my hand and spoken truth to me and helped me get it right! You are an awesome God!
