since no one reads this anyway....

So, I am dying to tell you all I'm pregnant, but also not at all ready to tell anyone.  For now it is Matt and my little secret.  The kids don't know, the grandparents haven't heard and I will wait as long as I possibly can before I tell one single Chinese person because I don't want to hear it.

I'm excited.  I've already had all my "oh, no!" emotions.  All my, I thought I was finished with being pregnant emotions (not necessarily with having kids mind you, just the pregnant part).  The fleeting thought that I would finally be able to go to America without a nursing baby stuck to my chest... and we were even going to have all our kids over 3 years of age which meant we were really planning some fun stuff.  But all that is fodder.  We are having another baby!  Another blessing.  Another precious gift from our Father.  And how could we be anything but excited and joyful and grateful!

I have 3 children which evokes many daily comments from my Chinese neighbors and random passersby.  3 kids!  Wow, are they all yours?  So many kids!  Does the government pay you to have kids?  I mean.... in a society where 1 kid is the norm people have forgotten that 2 generations ago the norm in China was 3, 4, 5....  but propaganda is mighty.  So, yes, I am waiting to tell my Chinese friends, well because they will tell everyone else.  I am definitely waiting to tell my neighbors because they will also tell everyone else.  They will even have these conversations about the foreigner (me) while I am standing there.  I want to just say, "I'm right here!"  But its all good.  They'll all know in a few months anyway.  This well stretched body knows exactly how to take the form of preggo.

We are waiting to tell my mom and Matt's mom because its just fun to have a little secret.  It's fun to talk about baby names and how old he/she will be when we get back to the States.  How to acquire maternity clothes and baby clothes on our tight budget when we have just recently sent all ours far, far away.