Coming Hom

Coming home is always an exciting time.  We've lived overseas most of our married lives and all our kiddos have grown up in China.  Its home because that is where we have been planted and for the most part have taken root and bloomed.  When we say home we are usually referring to our China home.  This time however when we say we are going home we mean America home.  The land of convenience and Chick-fil-A.  We love coming home.  Going to church is a highlight and since we'll be home in the summer the kids will get to enjoy VBS.  We won't have lessons hanging over our heads and friends will be on summer break as well.  We look forward to driving wherever we want to go and rolling around in the grass and breathing clean air.  Most importantly we'll see our Moms and the kids will see their grandmothers.  I must say I always count the days until we are with them.

This year will be different on several accounts.  On the upside it'll be out first trip back without a nursing baby - woohoo!  Travel will be easier I hope and I'll definitely be able to stop and smell a few more roses.  Having all my kids 3 and up will be a game changer.  On the downside, I'll go home to a new normal of one less family member to greet.  I must admit I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought.  My brother is gone.  How do you work through that properly overseas?  I'll surely spend time with his wife, Wanda, who is so dear to me.  And I'll see his kids and grandkids.  We'll all reminisce about how funny he was and the antics he often pulled.  But that void will be real.

My Dad passed away at the end of our first Stateside.  I was so glad I was there, for closure and to help my mom.  Marty was there too.  It was hard to leave my mom to come back to China.   Two and half years later, when Pete was just 7 months old we went home again and I had to deal with Dad being gone.  It was hard.  It is still hard.  Mom is preparing to sell her house.  My childhood home.  We moved there when I was 2.  Too many memories, but the hardest to leave are the ones of my dad.  That is hard for mom too.

I'm so thankful Mom is still with us.  You cannot imagine the knot in my throat each time I say goodbye to her.  She always stands in the glass door and waves and whispers that she loves me.  She covers the kids with kisses and we take a final photo.  I have a similar memory of my dad seeing me off at the airport back in the days when visitors could see you off at the plane.  He'd stand at the big window and wave and say he loved me until I turned the final corner and lost sight of him.  I know that Mom could join him any day and I just don't want to even think about it.

Mom still looks good.  But looks can be deceiving because diabetes and dementia are really taking their toll.  Decisions need to be made, mostly by her, about where she will live out the rest of her life. Will she go to assisted living, and if so where.  Will she no longer be in the town we've called home for 40 years?  Do we need to come home for a time and care for her?  Yes, I'd gladly do that if the Lord wills.  So many things that will be different this trip home.  Most of me just wants to go home, tell folks about the last 2+ years, visit with family and friends, eat good food and go to Target.   But I think we have a little more cut out for us this go.

Will home still be home after this Stateside?  I don't know the answers but I know the One who does, so we walk and talk to Him and wait for His leading.  Life is a funny thing.  It has so many ups and downs and twists and turns.  We pour ourselves into projects and work and this and that and in the end very little of it matters.  We want our lives to matter.  We want our lives to have eternal value.  We want to give our God glory.  I recently just thought through all these things and the bottom line was basically it doesn't matter so much what we do, but it does matters how we do it.

We are going home.   May we do it well.