Heartbreak

"The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." But it is so easy to love your kids more. What? Our children canso easily become an idle and we must daily remember not to let it be so. Yes, your children tend to take that place in your heart that no one can pierce. You love them before they are ever born and you feel them. I don't mean you just feel them moving around in there, I mean you feel them deep in your soul. They are part of you through and through. So when they are hurt you hurt, when they laugh you feel joy, and they can push your buttons better than anyone else can. Thinking about the connection between a mother and her child blesses my heart and I begin to think about how much God loves us. For He gave his only son for us.

I am heartbroken today over the loss of a little one. A friend who was excited to meet her son on September 9 had to say goodbye before she ever said hello. I cannot imagine her pain right now. How can you be 36 weeks pregnant and with no warning find out the baby you have been nourishing and nurturing through your very own body has died. My tears cannot bring him back nor can they comfort this woman who is experiencing sorrow among sorrow. It really reminds me of the how precious life is and the fact that none of us can sustain it one day longer than our Creator has intended. Why a baby? I don't know, but I do know He is the Lord and He has a plan. To my friend I say I'm sorry, I love you, I hurt for you, and I am praying for you. The Lord has a plan for you and somehow this fits into His plan. He love you and He loves your little boy. That baby is lost to us but he is not lost, he is with the Father.

When a baby dies we often want a reason. We need some one or some event to blame. Sometimes mothers blame themselves - if only I had.... but we must all remember that the Lord holds out lives in His hands. Not one of us could have taken a breath today if He had not allowed it. We can go to doctors and take medicines and eat perfect diets and exercise and meditate and whatever else people do to be healthy and stay safe... but the fact remains that we may not have a tomorrow. This baby was a person. He was loved. His life mattered. He will not be forgotten. His mommy has a spot in her heart that is still full - full of memories and dreams.

My heart aches today.